I started solo traveling ten years ago. I took a 10-day trip to Peru over the Christmas holidays, in between leaving my job in Washington, D.C., and moving to New York City for a new one. It was the capstone of a mostly abysmal year that started with my appendix rupturing and an intensive abdominal surgery, saw the breakdown of my relationship with my family that summer, and concluded with my phone getting stolen in the airport of Lima – on the first day of the trip.
I think most people would probably throw in the towel and declare that solo travel is "not for them." But for me, I was determined to make the best of the circumstance. I was determined to prove that I could survive yet another challenge that life had tossed my way. And I was determined to rewrite in my nervous system what the feeling of vacation was – which until that point, had been a time to brace for my dad's anger when things inevitably did not go his way.
I needed this trip to be a win in a year of loss, and so I accepted what was an undeniably unfortunate occurrence, and set about orienting my mind toward openness to whatever the rest of the trip had to offer me.
Clara Ritger
Inside: My story of wandering Peru without a phone, and the serendipity that led to a friendship that outlasted the trip.
I didn't have anyone to cheer me up or commiserate with except myself. I didn't have a travel partner with a phone we could use. I didn't even have a laptop with me to be able to coordinate things at night. So I traveled the old-fashioned way – which instinctively, I knew how to do, because I'm a Millennial: the last generation to know what life was like before screens.
It's absolutely fair to say that I reconnected to my childhood on this trip.
At restaurants, I had only the companion of my journal, and so I wrote. I wrote what I was observing, what I was thinking, what I wanted for the impending next chapter of my life. I reunited with who I was as a child: my dreams, my joy and my sense of wonder and curiosity. And I found that my creativity ignited; inspiration flooded my consciousness and re-energized me for the return.
It was a long overdue homecoming, after a decade of hustling so hard that I forgot what it was for. Between high school, college, and my first few years in the workforce, I was moving so fast I hadn't stopped to ask why.
I was traveling Peru, but I was also coming home to myself.
Clara Ritger
I like to refer to solo travel as soul-o travel. I'm with myself.
The Benefits of Solo Travel That Everyone Talks About
You have more freedom and flexibility to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Sleep in and skip the walking tour? You're not letting anyone down! Arguing about what restaurant to go to? Not on this trip!
You develop the self-confidence and independence of being able to do everything yourself. You build resilience as challenges arise. Travel, in that sense, becomes less of a social event than a life experience. And with no travel partner to engage with, you undoubtedly engage with the place more.
I know for a fact that I've made meaningful connections with people – locals and fellow travelers – because I was more approachable as a solo traveler.
Clara Ritger
Two families in Chile adopted me for a day. It remains one of my fondest memories of travel.
And yes, there's moments when solo travel means spending a bit more – there's no one to split the cost of a room with – but you also have the ability to snag that last ticket for something at a steep discount, as I did for an 8-day Galapagos cruise.
If you've been reading Adventure to Awaken for some time, I've talked about these benefits. But these are surface-level, the kind of things you'd write on a pros and cons list, compared to the deeper transformation I've experienced in the world.
My Unexpected Experience With Solo Travel
Peru was the beginning of what would become recurring sojourns to South America. Much of my early years of solo travel were spent in countries where language was an added barrier. I speak some Spanish, enough to get around, but not enough to be able to dine at a restaurant and eavesdrop on the conversation at the table next to me.
This is an unexpected gift.
When the noise becomes unintelligible, what you can hear becomes clear. I started traveling alone long before I started meditating, and yet now I can see that I was having a meditative experience. I could hear my own thoughts clearly, and I noticed things in the environment with my other senses that I might have missed in the distraction of language.
A sensory exploration and mindfulness practice for tapping into greater awareness and aliveness. To get access, upgrade your membership to the "Seeker" tier for $6/month or $60/year.
Without being able to speak the language, I existed in this state of humble silence. I listened more than I spoke. I remained quiet unless I needed to communicate something that I couldn't through body language.
And that was another discovery. To my delight, I could watch someone speaking at me in rapid Spanish, and understand what they were saying from facial expressions, gestures and body language alone. I could take the 50% of what they said verbally that I did understand, and the context clues of everything else I was receiving visually filled in the rest.
The result was that people thought I understood much more Spanish than I actually did – which flummoxed them when I struggled to string together words in a reply.
Even if you've solo traveled to a country where you do speak the language, you'll still get a taste of this just from spending so much time with yourself – especially if you put away your phone. When you are disconnected from others and from technology, you are connected to yourself. You'll hear yourself more clearly.
And, whether you have awareness of it or not, you'll self-regulate. Without anyone else's nervous system, whims or moods to influence yours, you get the chance to learn what your own energy is, what your set point is, and what disturbs your peace.
The Benefits of Solo Travel That No One Talks About
When you travel alone long enough, the noise drops away – the identity you've constructed for other people, the version of yourself that exists in relation to others. What remains is closer to the truth of who you are – whether that's comfortable, or not. You cannot escape yourself in solo travel, and so if there's anything you've been running from, you become aware that it has followed you into this new place.
Which leads you down a path of reflection – why am I this way? – which leads you to processing what you've been through – I developed this pattern to survive – which leads to self-compassion – I accept and love this part of myself.
Of course, you might not make this entire circuit of healing while you're traveling – after all, you are still traveling – but it's likely that some of these truths will emerge into your awareness, and be something that you carry back with you into your regular life. When people talk about profound travel experiences that changed them and left them struggling to reintegrate into daily life, this is often what is happening beneath the surface. A truth has emerged that they can't deny, and they haven't yet completed the loop from awareness into action.
And then there's the discourse around loneliness. "Does solo travel get lonely?" "How do you not feel alone?"
Clara Ritger
I talk about the myth of being alone, and dealing with the inevitable feelings of loneliness, in my Solo Travel FAQ post.
Solo travel transformed my relationship to loneliness, in that I feel most alone when I'm surrounded by people where I don't feel seen, and when I'm with myself, I don't feel alone at all.
But beyond that, feeling lonely isn't a feeling that I try to escape anymore. "How do you not feel alone?" isn't the right question, because you can't control your feelings, you can only dissociate from them, and that's not something I'm doing anymore.
So when I feel lonely while traveling, I get curious about what the feeling is telling me. What am I learning about myself in this moment? And I acknowledge that loneliness is also a gift. It is an invitation to appreciate the relationships I've taken for granted.
Solo travel will change how you see yourself and your life. Simply by changing up your routine and your environment, you'll see what remains underneath. And through the triumphs and tribulations, you'll learn who you really are.
What Most People Don't Realize About Solo Travel
I am a huge proponent of solo travel. Solo travel created the conditions for my personal transformation. And yet, solo travel does not uniquely hold this power.
The benefits of solo travel can also be accessed at home.
Solo travel is life in a microcosm. Life contains challenges and moments of loneliness. If you want more freedom and flexibility, what rules have you set for yourself that doesn't allow spontaneity in your daily life? And you can spend a day alone without ever leaving your hometown.
Solo travel – a change in environment – is useful when a big reset is needed, no doubt. But integrating the ritual of reconnection to ourselves in our daily lives is the preventative medicine that keeps us from needing drastic change.
A meditation practice offers us the opportunity to reconnect with ourselves with regularity. Meditation is the act of traveling your inner landscape and coming home to yourself.
I'm a trauma-informed meditation, yoga and somatic movement teacher (RYT-500) and I work with a small number of people one on one. Through mindfulness, movement and embodied leadership coaching, I help you find easeful practices that will support you through life's challenges and bring you back to yourself — so that you can feel more alive, more present, and more like you. If that's of interest to you, reply to this email and we'll figure out whether it's a good fit.
I'm also currently enrolling for a four-week group meditation course — one 90-minute session per week — that teaches a style of meditation that feels nourishing, healing, loving, free, sensory, embodied, connective and alive. If that intrigues you — whether you're new to meditation or a seasoned meditator — this course will empower you with a meditation practice that you actually stick to and look forward to each day. If you're interested in how meditation can change your experience of life, reply to this email and I'll send you the details.
